Kim’s Message: You Got This! Don’t Give in to Comparisons & Imposter Syndrome

I have had the privilege of leading CEA for 23 years and frequently speak to groups of all sizes. Recently, I flew down to Southern California for a speaking engagement at an annual conference. I knew in advance that my audience would be made up of association executives and their board chairs, and my topic was best practices on how these two groups could work together more effectively. I was confident that I had the experience and stories to share, and I created the slide deck!

As I sat in the audience, I was completely mesmerized by the two speakers who went on before me. Their bios alone were intimidating: successful entrepreneurs, New York Times Best-Selling Authors, and frequent fliers on the professional speaking circuit. They were “Ted Talk” level amazing, and as I listened to their stories and accomplishments, an enormous wave of self-doubt began to wash over me. I tried deep breathing and visualization, but the anxiety wouldn't budge.

I was the "third act" that morning, and I felt like a local lounge singer following Taylor Swift as I walked up onto that stage. But I started with a joke about the pressure of following such incredible speakers—a tactic to regain control of my nerves—and thankfully, it landed with a lot of laughs.

External Validation and Lessons Learned

At lunch, attendees shared kind words about the value of the practical content I had provided. Their professional and heartfelt accolades gave me the positive self-talk I had been unable to give myself. Later that afternoon, I gave a second presentation, on a different topic, and felt like myself again. The conference ended on a high note, with great feedback and fruitful business card exchanges.

Later, I began to assess why I had been so overwhelmed by that situation. I certainly wanted to avoid those uncomfortable feelings in the future. After much reflection, I realised I had allowed myself to give in to two insidious bad habits: Comparison and Imposter Syndrome.

Bad Habit #1: Comparing Yourself to Others

You’ve heard the phrase: Comparison is the thief of joy. It’s true. When we measure our internal worth against external metrics like someone else's achievements or possessions, it steals our confidence and leaves us feeling inadequate.

• The Fix: Shift the focus from external validation to my personal growth, contentment, and gratitude for my own unique path. The next time I find myself in this situation, I need to remember that I have a message others don’t have.

Bad Habit #2: Imposter Syndrome (The Successful Person's Secret Insecurity)

I always assumed "Imposter Syndrome" was a term used by someone new in their role. But according to Arthur C. Brooks, in a Harvard Business Review piece, Lean into Imposter Syndrome, Don’t Give In, it’s actually a label for anyone who questions whether they have truly earned or deserve their current success.

Apparently, it's common for ambitious people to become more insecure as they gain more success.  They often focus more on their limitations, instead of their strengths!

• The Fix: Focus on the Message—Remind myself that my value lies in the practical experiences and expertise I have to share with my audience, not the number of books I have or have not sold. Acknowledge My Accomplishments—Remind myself of the specific, unique expertise I bring to the table. And, Stop Being My Own Worst Critic—My job is to serve the audience, not compete with the speakers before me.

We all have these feelings from time to time. The key is to recognise these bad habits, name them and then dismiss them. Hope you found these insights helpful—“You got this”, and so do I. And hey, since we 2025 is just about wrapped up, now I have my New Year’s resolutions ready for 2026!